7. Change of Heart

Claudio followed the sound of chatter, giggles, and oohs and aahs to his wife and daughter sitting in front of the computer with huge smiles upon their lips until he appeared in the doorway.



 They froze, turned away from the screen with smaller smiles and a change of subject. “Hey Daddy! I wanted to come see you and mom before I left.” Giana beamed jumping from her position in the rolling chair. Their relationship had grown within the last few years to more of a father and daughter one with Giana having more freedom to do the things she wanted. The second the child was born they turned their backs on him, Colette, Giana, and Bianca. They despised him for forcing Wilson’s hand and making them miss out on the chance to be a grandmother and aunts.  He easily dulled down the deadly flame within his daughters’ but Colette’s still remained. “Is that your way of asking for spending money?” He smoothed down her hair with a gentle smile. 

Giana smiled with wide eyes and her hand out, ready to accept the cash gift, “I love you Daddy!”

“Oh you love me when money is involved?” He placed one of his credit cards in her hand and accepted a kiss on the cheek.

“I always love you old man!” Her smile widened as she waved for her mother to follow her into the other room. 

Colette passed making minimal eye contact and ignored the gentle brushing of his hand against hers. He needed to fix that- the broken bonds in his once happy family. He glanced over his shoulder at her mimicking the frown she carried. He’d have to fix things soon. 

The moment their voices faded deeper into the house, Claudio moved toward the open screen on the desktop. He’d heard his wife and daughter talking about the child; Cilly, they called him. Sliding his hand over the mouse, he shook it quickly banishing the colorful 3-dimentional shape bouncing across the screen. The bright light from the screen hit him instantly with a picture of the child that’d stolen his wife and daughters’ hearts. Claudio absently touched his face as he recognized his own chocolate brown eyes. He was a spitting image of Wilson, his son who’d always favored him. Staring into Cillian’s face, he recalled the day of Wilson’s birth. He’d never been so proud in his life. Daddy. He repeated in his head as he held him moments after his birth imagining his son running up to him when he arrived home from work, arms wide and with that smile that brightened his day. The smile that he’d passed on to a son of his of own. Scrolling down to the next picture, one of Cillian and Wilson together, his smile widened and heart filled with pride. Next to his father, the child was a clone with small traces of his mother. Ones in which made he perfect, beautiful, and a painful reminder of the foolish decision he made that broke up his family. Pulling himself away from the screen, he set out to the one place he would always retreat to when he needed his mind cleared repeating the name Grandpa in his head along the way.

******

After a long lunch break browsing the aisles of the art supply store, Cian returned to work with a heavy heart. In their place of business, they had to be a professional pair with no concerns other than what was best for their joint business, Notte e Giorno, but it was apparent in the way they looked at one another and the lack of conversation that there were issues just below the surface.

Pushing through the glass door, their eyes met and lingered for a brief second. Cian pulled herself away and made her slow journey back to her gallery. 

Closing herself off in her office, she plopped down behind her desk with the intention of getting straight to work but an envelope stamped with a heart caught her eye. She turned it over, carefully breaking the seal and pulled out a handwritten letter:

Cian,

        I’m not as strong as you think. I’ve grown dependant on your smile and your touch so these last two days have been painful. The words I love you have been said between us every morning for the past 4 years with yesterday and this morning being the exception. Something is going on. What? I wish I knew.  I won’t push you to tell me but each day that we go without a kiss and without those words will add up until you decide to let me back in. I hope that day is soon because I really miss us.

She swallowed pass the lump in her throat as she read the bittersweet note a second time imagining him with sorrowed eyes speaking each written word to her. She felt guilty for what her fear was doing to them and the way he sweetly went about telling her how he felt. Cian neatly folded the letter and tucked it back into the envelope before dropping it into the top drawer of her desk. She sighed pressing her fingers into her temples and rotating them in a circular motion kneading the sudden ache of an approaching migraine. How could she explain it without hurting him? Express her fears and concerns of bringing another child into the world just to watch them suffer through the cruel treatment and hurtful terms created specifically for them.  The mere thought of Cillian being shunned by both races broke her heart into a million pieces just as the neatly written words of the man she loves.  Before she had the chance to rethink her decision to verbally reply to the letter, she pushed out of her office chair only to be stopped by the chiming of a new email. Cian rushed back to her computer and quickly read over the order for a custom painting. She smiled at the request then printed the order form and added it to the top of her list as she set out to talk to Wilson.

Watching Wilson move around the restaurant below, she couldn’t help but stare. The smile that graced his lips with each new face that walked through the door was hypnotizing and deeply missed in the last two days. She waited until all of the customers were taken care of before approaching him, nervously playing with her fingers, “Can I talk to you for a minute?” She motioned toward his office with her thumb. Wilson nodded, signaled for one of his employees to take over as host then followed Cian into his office with his eyes glued to her butt the entire way. 

“I’m sorry.” She began before he could close the door behind them. “I just…I have a lot on my mind and I don’t want--I can’t--I’m sorry!” Cian’s rambling rapidly turned into a slew of jumbled words slurred but a heavy downpour of tears. Wilson advanced toward her lifting her chin with his finger to gain eye contact, “What’s on your mind? You know you can talk to me.” He spoke with a calm tone willing her to look up from the floor. 

Cian stubbornly turn away from him, swatting the salty trail of tears on her chin with the back of her hand. He wouldn’t understand. There was no way she could look him in the eye and tell him that she was scared to bare the children he wanted more than anything. She took a deep breath expelling the last of her tears in preparation of getting it all out in the open. She took a second breath as the words she formulated on the spot rolled toward the tip of her tongue. Cian faced him with her lips pursed together forming a straight but tense line. The moment she opened them to speak, she was met with a kiss; one that was so sweet, so tender, and genuinely missed. Her words of fear that dangled on the tip of her tongue dissolved between them and her mind was wiped clean. Even as her husband’s hands slid around to her back and enclosed her in his arms, she could think of nothing more than how much she truly missed his touch. The warmth of his body caused her to melt against him deepening the kiss to a dangerous level.

Feeling the heat build within her, she broke the kiss but allowed their lips to linger against his, “Will I-”

“I’m sorry.” He interrupted in a whisper, his tone increasing slightly as he spoke, “I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did the other night. Our marriage is not based on sex and if you’re not in the mood, it’s my job to understand it and respect it.”  

“But it’s my job as your wife to make sure that your needs are taken care of.” She retorted despite the finger pressing against her lips. “My needs are taken care of as long as you’re by my side.” It was too late to take back the smile that’d spread across her face. He’d seen it and mimicked it placing kiss on her nose and caressing her back with left hand. “Forgive me?” He asked her in a hushed tone leveling his eyes with hers.

                                                 

“You apologized and ask for forgiveness when you didn’t really do anything wrong?”

“Yeah,” Wilson shrugged with a sly smile, “I figure, I’ll apologize this time and you take the next one.”

“What if the next time is your fault?” She pulled back and smirked.

“If the next time is my fault, I’ll let you apologize and make it up to you with wall climbing hot sweaty-”

“So you’re getting two treats for your fault?”

“Exactly!”

***Many issues. Lost shots. BLAH