Friday, February 4, 2011

69. Inside

Genre: Drama
Characters:  Renee, Ramone
Prompt: 69. Inside
Word Count: 852 ish
Rating: M
Type: series
Summary: Renee is cornered
Warnings:  Sexual situation, Disturbing content, implied violence, language
**





An echoing thud, banging from the suitcase hitting the stairs. She was hunched over, drained from the lonely flight back that seemed to take longer than getting there. Out of the warm breeze and back under the snow filled clouds, she sighed, wishing she too could have stayed another day. Instead, she’d go inside, drop her suitcase at the door and allow her mind to be eased by a tub of hot water surrounded by peach scented candles and pretend Eric was with her instead of at work for the next 6 hours. 

Her jingling keys pierced the silence followed but a dull clink. The wheels of her suitcase scrapped the hardwood floor, the handle slipped out of her hand as she locked the door behind her. 




 “Had fun?” She instant threw her hands over her mouth and screamed as the cold voice sliced through the silence. He was staring ahead, his eyes glowing in the darkness, illuminated by the streams of light slipping through the blinds. He eased out of his position on the couch, leapt and grabbed her arm as she made for the door. Her back hit the wall, her bones shouted, her face frozen with fear. “No running in the house!” He waved his finger a few inches away from her face. He pressed his body against her, the wall was the rock, he the hard place. His right hand slid into his pocket, the left planted firmly on the wall behind her. He scanned her face, relished the fear curling her lips, the minor trembles of her body as he brushed his nose against hers then brought his lips dangerously close. “I know what you’re thinking…”  He pulled back slightly, his breath could still be felt on her lips, “you want to know how I got inside your apartment.” She remained silent, avoided his eyes as he ducked his head to see hers. “I have my ways.” He answered, quickly brushing her hair out of her face with his left hand, dropping it to his side. “Renee. Such a beautiful face. I’d hate for something to happen to it.” His voice turned colder. 





“Why are you shaking? Are you afraid of me, Renee? You should be…” He pulled his right hand from his pocket with a large butcher’s knife that sparkled in the darkness. “You think you know me? You think you have me figured out?” He chuckled, pressing his forehead against her, “I don’t even have me figured out.” Ramone ducked his head again, pressed his lips hard against her, prying them open and forcing his tongue inside. His left hand roughly yanked her hands away from her chest before he slide his hand down the front of her shirt, pushing it up over her breasts. He trailed the knife from her collarbone down to the center of her bra, playfully brushing the tip across her breasts. “No, don’t cry! You’re a big girl remember? You protect your baby from deadbeats…” He whispered, pushing her bra up to meet her rolled up shirt. Sliding the knife up to the base of her neck, he bent over taking one of her breasts into his mouth, his eyes locked on hers. He bit her several times, watching her face for his desired reaction. She flinched; tears poured faster, his groin aching like never before. He stood, trailed the blade down her stomach and between her legs, running the back of the blade against the center seam of her jeans. “I’d love to... but I’m not going to fuck you.” He lifted her chin with his left hand, “I’m just making my point clear to you…” He dropped his arm to his side with the knife tightly clenched in his fist. “Stay out of my way! You can’t protect you…and you can’t protect her.” He leaned forward, forced his tongue inside her mouth once against before taking his time to leave the apartment. 






The second he was gone, Renee pulled her shirt down and slid to the floor. His parting words left her in tears, frozen on the floor in complete shock. He was dangerous, more than just some deadbeat. He was a careless predator that was after her friend…




And there was nothing she could so about it. 

26 comments:

Aussie Karima said...

~ Ramone does not pull any punches!
~ He let his intentions known,but how do you stop someone who does not want to be stopped?????
~ Now she knows she can not keep,Cian safe,without getting hurt herself!
~ Very worried now!!!!(",)

Qui. said...

Nope. One cold piece of work he is!
He showed that he could do whatever he wanted and she can't stop it. He also put enough fear in her to keep her quiet.
She can't stop him and now she knows that.

Valpre said...

OMG. *faints*
Urgh. That man is past being rational now. I mean going after his friend's girlfriend is so careless and erratic, unless he doesn't care what Eric thinks. I hope Renee tells Eric or someone at least. She shouldn't keep quiet about this. There's so much more that she can do, she mustn't be lulled into thinking he has the power.

holleyberry said...

The man's a predator! This deadbeat turned evil pretty quickly. The statement “I don’t even have me figured out.” shows how unstable he is!
I agree with val, she shouldn't keep quiet. She might think keeping quiet will keep her and Cian safe, but that's a victims mentality. i hope she realizes he's messing with her mind and doesn't heed his advice. the more people who know the safer she and Cian are.

DaijahV said...

OMG!?! That fucker>!@>~!WSfjlahn;k'lfnkal'N ARGH! He needs death! NOW QUI! DIE YOU AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG He needs to fucking die! Please please torture this sick fuck and OMG!

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jillyson said...

No. Way.
OMG, Renee...that poor thing. Call Eric, call him and make him come home RIGHT NOW. I hope she tells Eric, and I hope that he takes her to the hospital and has some DNA taken from those bites. I hope Eric calls Will, and I hope they make Ramone disappear.
How shattering.

S.B. said...

Where's the other men? The guys I know would take that creep out somewhere and make it real clear that he should never come back. Poor Renee! Call Eric RIGHT NOW! This was really intense writing! Fabulous!

Qui. said...

Holley: Yes, and sad...he knows he is unstable. If she keeps silent, it's out of fear. Not that he will hurt her, but Cian.

Qui. said...

Daijah: lol. Sorry! Sorry!
Demented, yes. Have we seen the worse? No.
I't scares me that I can come up with these things!
Even more since he comes to me so easily.
Thank you!

Qui. said...

Jilly: he is very smooth and aware of his surroundings. He has been able to evade authorities for so long..I think I'll make a prompt to show everyone in more detail exactly how he does what he does. Wilson and Cian are still on the island. They stayed another day, which is why Renee was there alone. Although they have a mutual friend, Wilson and Eric really aren't friends. With this situation, they might become close! Renee might tell but it probably won't be any time soon.

Qui. said...

SB: at this point, they are just as blind. Ramone (I hate to say this) is good at what he does. See how he was aware of his surroundings before he lured that girl out of the club? Friends or not, they wouldn't stand by and watch him do that! They'll find out and when they do, all hell will break loose! Especially on Eric's end!
Thank you so much!

Qui. said...

Val: Ramone was thinking about himself. The comment Renee made before they left for the weekend stuck with him and he thought it over. She knows something and that would be a problem if he didn't show her that he meant business! He wasn't thinking about Eric and at that moment, didn't care. It was about Renee and making sure she knew who she was dealing with. He didn't do his worse believe it or not. She can speak up but without evidence, what does she have to prove it? He best bet is to tell the only person who is questioning Ramone's character as well and that's Will.

Thank you everyone!

MsSade said...

OMG!!!! I knew ramone was shiesty from the very beginning..> i hope renee doesnt shower... if she calls the cops they can get dna... lol look at me... all these criminal justice classes are getting to me... but if i was renee i would tell some1, she need to call eric right away and let him know whats going on, her life nd cian life are in danger, i wonder wat he would do 2 wilson if he knew cian had sex with him.. mhm

MsSade said...

Shucks jus finished reading everyone comments.. nd im all late... i jus repeated what everyone jus said... oo boy i gotta get posting quicker

Qui. said...

You take Criminal Justice classes too? We need to talk! lol I think that's how I came up with him and his personality.

Renee just may do that or something along the lines of it.

Flip the hell out is what he'd do!

MsSade said...

yes im a criminal justice major with a minor in forensic science/ criminology...
renee needs 2 pretend she from the hood... nd show him she aint THEE ONE!!!! lol

Qui. said...

Ha! Oh don't worry. Something will happen.


Majoring in Cyber crime investigations.

MsSade said...

thats cool... ima crimal junkie

Qui. said...

me, serial killers

jen said...

Qui, I emailed you that link but not sure if you got it. So here it is: http://bloodlust3.blogspot.com/?zx=4d0368c6a0c0da13

And btw your stories are awesome! And the pics are amazing as well. :) I also loved the prologue in All Caught Up, I loved how you made it in poem format! :D

<3

jen said...

.......and now that I know the effing link won't work, I'm just going to post the link on my Bloodlust blog. It'll be listed on the sidebar under "Sinfully Bloodlust". Sorry about that!

<3

Qui. said...

YEY!! Thank you so much Jen! Going to check it out the second I get the chance!

thewynd said...

That was tense! Right from the start, in your face tension. I love the stairwell shot...talk about a precursor to what was waiting in her apartment.

Hoping Renee does not keep this incident from Cian and Will.

Anonymous said...

OMG!!!!! ROMONE= MONSTER!!!!!!!!! I can not believe how psycho he is!!!!!!! I hope he doesn't get in between Will and Cian!

Luv4gaj said...

Omg. O_O Ramone is not only a ruthless player, he is a predator as well. Unbelievable!

Pixx08 said...

He's not a predator, he's a psycho, i mean the dude doesn't even have himself figured out! That's spooky!